“To Sit the Topaz Throne!”
Story by Don Glut
Art by Ernie Chan and Ricardo Villamonte
Colors by George Roussos
Letters by Denise Wohl
Cover by Ernie Chan
Thulsa Doom appears before Kull and quickly binds his hands together with a spell — he then transports them both to his birthplace, a shadowy dimension on the edge of the world. There, the skull-faced sorcerer reveals that the fallen monarch has been his unwitting pawn for the past few months. For eons, the people of Torranna have been cursed by their goddess Syndra: if they ever leave the city gates, each will crumble into dust. But an ancient prophecy states that one man can lift the malevolent magic, a scar-faced stranger who risks his life to save another’s and also rescues the stolen crown of the land. When the crown is placed on the man’s head, the Torrannanians will finally be free to leave — but the scarred man will be trapped alone in the city for all time. Doom boasts that Kull will now become this legendary figure. But, for one last humiliation, the sorcerer materializes a battle axe in Kull’s hand while creating a flaming sword in his own. Doom proceeds to thrash the Atlantean — however, the royal barbarian does manage to nick the wizard’s boney cheek.
Growing bored with humiliating his foe, Doom transports them both back to Torranna, leaving Kull slumped on the throne. But just as the sorcerer is about to place the crown on the former ruler of Valusia and complete the curse, Kull gathers his last ounce of strength and leaps forward, grabs the crown and rams it down on Doom’s head. He then shoves his nemesis on to the throne: Doom, with his newly scarred face, is now the victim of Syndra’s spell, forever trapped in Torranna. As the city begins to crumble, Kull and Ridondo make their escape, the minstrel holding the crown of Valusia that Doom dropped. They make their way back to Valusia and Kull takes his rightful place as monarch once again — even as his court begins to grumble with treasonous discourse. -Tom Flynn
Tom Flynn: Strike three and you’re out. For the third time, Marvel cancels a series featuring Robert E. Howard’s Atlantean barbarian — and if you listen closely, you can hear cheers of joy emanating from Marvel University’s Ozone Park campus. Believe it or not, the publisher still hadn’t learned its lesson and would resuscitate the series two more times: an extremely brief two-issue run in 1982 and another ten issue go-around just a year later in 1983. But those are not our problem, thank Crom. Or, more appropriate, Valka. I guess Don Glut deserves some props for tying things together in a fairly satisfying package, but he played a little fast and loose with the facts. As Thulsa Doom himself stated, the stranger must have a scar on his face, risk his life and rescue the crown. Now Kull gave the wizard a scar but I doubt Doom ever put his life on the line for someone else and he certainly didn’t get the crown back from the cyclops Gasshga. So he couldn’t possibly be the guy to release the citizens from their hopeless fate. Plus, when Kull jams the crown on Doom’s head, the people of Torranna crumble just as if they had left the city. Why? Shouldn’t they be free? Don tries to play that off by having Kull say that Doom had actually died once before so all he could bestow was more death. “Well, it’s as good an explanation as any,” Kull concludes. Gee, thanks Don.
I give myself a pat on the back though: I guessed correctly about the curse while writing up last issue. Considering that Kull has been trying to regain the crown of Valusia from Thulsa Doom since issue #11 — waaaay back in November 1973 — the grand conclusion seems to have been totally rushed. But since Thulsa Doom states that the barbarian has been under the control of his machinations since what would be issue 22, I guess it’s been unfolding for quite some time. Doom claims that Laralei was part of his ploy, but she has not been seen since storming off last issue. I actually chuckled a bit at the end: after all this time and struggle, his subjects immediately start bitching and moaning about their barbarian king the second his ass hits the Valusian throne. Ungrateful louts! But not me: couldn’t be happier that Kull the Destroyer is off my course load. I will have to deal with the character in this month’s Savage Sword, but he enjoys a much more enjoyable format there. As for this series, class dismissed — forever!
Story by Don Glut
Art by Ernie Chan and Ricardo Villamonte
Colors by George Roussos
Letters by Denise Wohl
Cover by Ernie Chan
Thulsa Doom appears before Kull and quickly binds his hands together with a spell — he then transports them both to his birthplace, a shadowy dimension on the edge of the world. There, the skull-faced sorcerer reveals that the fallen monarch has been his unwitting pawn for the past few months. For eons, the people of Torranna have been cursed by their goddess Syndra: if they ever leave the city gates, each will crumble into dust. But an ancient prophecy states that one man can lift the malevolent magic, a scar-faced stranger who risks his life to save another’s and also rescues the stolen crown of the land. When the crown is placed on the man’s head, the Torrannanians will finally be free to leave — but the scarred man will be trapped alone in the city for all time. Doom boasts that Kull will now become this legendary figure. But, for one last humiliation, the sorcerer materializes a battle axe in Kull’s hand while creating a flaming sword in his own. Doom proceeds to thrash the Atlantean — however, the royal barbarian does manage to nick the wizard’s boney cheek.
Growing bored with humiliating his foe, Doom transports them both back to Torranna, leaving Kull slumped on the throne. But just as the sorcerer is about to place the crown on the former ruler of Valusia and complete the curse, Kull gathers his last ounce of strength and leaps forward, grabs the crown and rams it down on Doom’s head. He then shoves his nemesis on to the throne: Doom, with his newly scarred face, is now the victim of Syndra’s spell, forever trapped in Torranna. As the city begins to crumble, Kull and Ridondo make their escape, the minstrel holding the crown of Valusia that Doom dropped. They make their way back to Valusia and Kull takes his rightful place as monarch once again — even as his court begins to grumble with treasonous discourse. -Tom Flynn
Tom Flynn: Strike three and you’re out. For the third time, Marvel cancels a series featuring Robert E. Howard’s Atlantean barbarian — and if you listen closely, you can hear cheers of joy emanating from Marvel University’s Ozone Park campus. Believe it or not, the publisher still hadn’t learned its lesson and would resuscitate the series two more times: an extremely brief two-issue run in 1982 and another ten issue go-around just a year later in 1983. But those are not our problem, thank Crom. Or, more appropriate, Valka. I guess Don Glut deserves some props for tying things together in a fairly satisfying package, but he played a little fast and loose with the facts. As Thulsa Doom himself stated, the stranger must have a scar on his face, risk his life and rescue the crown. Now Kull gave the wizard a scar but I doubt Doom ever put his life on the line for someone else and he certainly didn’t get the crown back from the cyclops Gasshga. So he couldn’t possibly be the guy to release the citizens from their hopeless fate. Plus, when Kull jams the crown on Doom’s head, the people of Torranna crumble just as if they had left the city. Why? Shouldn’t they be free? Don tries to play that off by having Kull say that Doom had actually died once before so all he could bestow was more death. “Well, it’s as good an explanation as any,” Kull concludes. Gee, thanks Don.
I give myself a pat on the back though: I guessed correctly about the curse while writing up last issue. Considering that Kull has been trying to regain the crown of Valusia from Thulsa Doom since issue #11 — waaaay back in November 1973 — the grand conclusion seems to have been totally rushed. But since Thulsa Doom states that the barbarian has been under the control of his machinations since what would be issue 22, I guess it’s been unfolding for quite some time. Doom claims that Laralei was part of his ploy, but she has not been seen since storming off last issue. I actually chuckled a bit at the end: after all this time and struggle, his subjects immediately start bitching and moaning about their barbarian king the second his ass hits the Valusian throne. Ungrateful louts! But not me: couldn’t be happier that Kull the Destroyer is off my course load. I will have to deal with the character in this month’s Savage Sword, but he enjoys a much more enjoyable format there. As for this series, class dismissed — forever!
"Stairway to Rage!"
Story by Doug Moench
Art by Mike Zeck and John Tartaglione
Colors by Mary Ellen Beveridge
Letters by Gaspar Saladino and Jean Simek
Cover by Mike Zeck
The silent monastery of Po Lin rises into view. He has walked all this way from Hong Kong; with every step, his rage building. Twice before, his adversary has tried to kill him; then, he tried to kill her. This time, the outcome will be different, as Shang-Chi will kill Skull-Crusher. As he arrives at the temple gate, S-C is met by a group of Buddhist monks, who explain they have been evicted by a new master of the house; the monks await assistance, which they expect the True Master (whom the new master cannot touch) to deliver to them. At first, Shang-Chi had rejected Skull-Crusher’s challenge: S-C would have to prove himself by passing three tests, before being worthy to face Skull-Crusher. S-C’s thoughts had been that he seeks to prove himself “worthy of nothing but life.” But, as he swiftly dispatches underlings and moves purposely forward, S-C thinks back to Skull-Crusher grazing Juliette’s skull with one of his swinging steel spheres; his thoughts now are of a decidedly different nature.
S-C finally confronts Skull-Crusher. The battle is vicious, and bloody. S-C is so determined to punish Skull-Crusher, he is not distracted by his thoughts of Juliette – he thinks now of her decision to leave him, and of her walking away. Skull-Crusher seems privy to S-C's thoughts; he asks why S-C would fight so fervently in Juliette's defense, when S-C never meant much to her in the first place. In that instant, S-C realizes he has been wrong – he is capable of greater depths to his rage. He hammers Skull-Crusher, and is about to administer the killing blow, when he is called to stop – by Juliette. He realizes she had left him for Skull-Crusher (he had thought she had returned to Shen Kuei ...), and Shang-Chi is stunned. He walks from the temple without another word, thinking he has worshipped her falsely. As he passes the monks, they rejoice at S-C's success on behalf of their Master; S-C dispels the notion, stating he had not come by virtue of a godly directive, but due to his own human frailty. -Chris Blake
Juliette's choice of Skull-Crusher over Shang-Chi is ... curious (“He chose … poorly.”). She certainly is trending down, as she goes from the controlled, calculating Cat, to the quietly noble Shang-Chi, and now seems ready to settle for the bloviating blunderer Skull-Crusher. She clearly has a thing for martial artists. The only clue Doug provides is Juliette's statement that Skull-Crusher would not harm her – of course, he does wind up causing her harm. Maybe he’d convinced her the head-blow was meant only as a love-tap? Or, maybe Juliette simply wants a reclamation project, after having been with high-functioning types like Shen Kuei and (however briefly) S-C. Takes all kinds, right?
John Tartaglione continues to do well by Zeck's pencils. The results still aren't consistent, though; I'm left wishing every page would look as solid as the splash page, with both combatants poised to strike, and the giant jade Buddha in the background. I also wish more panels turned out as well as the view past S-C’s shoulder as he faces his third challenge (right), and the one of Skull-Crusher on p 23 (below), as he appears in a grainy shadow, suggesting he's lit from behind.
Mark Barsotti: This one's an unexpected stunner, about desperation, false hopes and Freudian transference, about the decay and diseases of the human heart that are immune to modern medicine.
You know, typical funnybook stuff.
After the puzzle-box complexity of the lengthy Hong Kong saga, a straightforward one 'n' done tale is the appropriate palate cleanser. Here, writer Moench strips away all the deliciously pulpy, plot-dense artifice, strips Shang-Chi down to the emotional bone - no angsty uncertainty about warring against his father or the murky amorality of international espionage - driven only by the thirst for revenge.
Skull-Crusher plied his namesake trade upside Juliette's head, and while the emotionally damaged saloon singer survived, Shang resolved that the other S-C would not. This is the first time we've seen our oft reluctant hero, not with a license to kill, but a burning desire to do so, with no world-saving stakes in play, just payback for his on-the-rebound paramour.
Wow.
Ms. J may be the most twisted, disturbingly dysfunctional, and just plan f*cked-up character ever to grace a comic page. Returning to Shen Kuei the Cat we could understand - he has an ethical code, fairly bristles with outlaw élan. And we've seen the Cat make Skull-Crusher his little bitch for the last several issues. And no doubt Juliette did as well, and yet it's to Crusher's arms she longed to return, no doubt seeing in him a reflection of her own self-mutilated psyche, and convinced she deserves no better.
S-C falling for her is more predictable, bruised and on the rebound from what he thinks was Leiko's rejection. And then the basketcase torch singer gives him the brush. No wonder he was raging, but forget the titular stairway. That's more like being shoved down the elevator shaft.
Push provided by Doug Moench, the four color Edward Albee.
Top marks.
"The All-New Ms. Marvel"
Story by Chris Claremont
Art by Dave Cockrum and Bob Wiacek
Colors by Mary Ellen Beveridge
Letters by Gaspar Saladino and Annette Kawecki
Cover by Dave Cockrum and Bob Wiacek
Admiring her new outfit (“A fresh-brewed batch of unstable molecules, a little design assistance from Janet Pym—and voila!”), Carol is interrupted by Frank, who reports that Sharon Cole has vanished while covering the murders of New Mexico ranchers for the Bugle; we then see Sharon pulled out of her jeep by something as she flees Trinity Canyon amid the San Andres Mountains. At the state police’s Elephant Butte station, Carol is hindered by Col. Harry Butler, an old acquaintance who tries to stonewall her in favor of a military investigation, but helped by a state trooper who liked Sharon and resents the interference. Yet he, too, disappears abruptly as they survey the wreckage of an armored column Harry had called up from Fort Stark.
After Carol observes what appear to be the tracks of an oversized, three-toed biped, the “all-new, better-than-ever Ms. Marvel” makes her official debut, narrowly defeating the reptilian Khadar (a stunning full-page reveal on 14, reproduced below), a warrior-prime of “The People.” Yet he is not alone, and his flying brother, Tak, lures her into a trap that she barely survives, decimating the lizard-warriors when unable to reason with them. Aracht’yr, their patriarch and the leader of their high council, calls a halt to the combat, but states that their safety will not allow him to trust her, so he has her felled by Haemon with a telepathic energy beam, and although “the High Onesss have sssaid that [her] kind may no longer be consssidered prey,” she is borne unconscious into their cavern lair... -Matthew Bradley
Matthew Bradley: In Defenders #62, we got to see Ms. Marvel’s new costume. Then, in MTU #74, we got to see Ms. Marvel’s new costume (as modeled by Laraine Newman), plus a premature reference to her as an Avenger. Now, here in her own title, we finally get to see…Ms. Marvel’s new costume. Interesting rollout strategy. Even as an avowed fan of this mag and the Claremont/Cockrum X-Men, I’m not enamored of it; of course, my Kree-philia may be a factor. It obviously displays Carol’s commendable figure to great advantage—although whether those who found the original too heavy on the cheesecake will consider this an improvement, I don’t know—but the whole thing looks a little, dare I say it, Infantinoesque, which may be partly inker Bob Wiacek’s doing.
I short-sightedly omitted the first mention—last issue, I believe—of the ill-fated Sharon’s assignment from my synopsis, because I couldn’t recall if anything ever came of it, so shame on me. I’ve always had a soft spot for Stegron, and these guys seem like a bit of a rip-off, right down to their ssspeech patternsss, but I will award Chris some compensatory points for invoking one of my all-time favorite films, Them!, as “Sergeant Jim Whitmore” searches the desert for missing persons. (I recently viewed some picture, I forget which, where the characters were standing outside a house with someone watching TV inside; that unmistakable sound effect came through the window, and they didn’t even have to bother showing us what was being watched...)
Chris: Freed of any high expectations for this title (unlike the ever-expanding renown for X-Men), Claremont can relax and have some fun with this character. It helps Carol has finally reached full incorporation with the Ms Marvel persona; the switch to Kree warrior now necessitates little change in presentation, as most of the straightforward “Ms Marvel” delivery seems to have been subsumed under Carol’s lighter mannerisms. Claremont will have to be careful, though; in his ease with the character, he allows Carol some very corny dialog, the worst being: “Heads up, world! Now taking center stage, is the all-new, better-than-ever Ms Marvel!” Uh, who you talking to, Carol? I don’t remember her being this enthusiastic about being the divine Ms M; even if it has to do with feeling at home in the costume, I still don’t want her waving pom-poms and such.
Cockrum is a good choice to illustrate practically any Marvel mag. Cockrum + Wiaceck deliver some of the best art we’ve seen on this title in a long while; I say this despite Wiaceck washing out Cockrum’s signature style to some degree. We’ve always known Cockrum to draw women particularly well (thank you Dave), and he wastes no time, as page 1 offers the reveal of Ms M’s striking new costume. Cockrum also presents his share of great action shots, such as Ms M in full swing (above), flipping the lizard (p 17), then rebounding from a scratched back (p 23) to bat away a flying tank (p 26). I don’t know yet what these lizards are doing here, but of course Cockrum presents them well, as they’re both big and tough-looking (p 14), as well as oddly scaly-headed (such as on p 30, 1st pnl).
Jack of Hearts in
"The Jack of Hearts!"
Story by Bill Mantlo
Art by Keith Giffen and Rudy Nebres
Colors by Roger Slifer
Letters by Gaspar Saladino and Diana Albers
Cover by Mike Zeck and Rudy Nebres
After the events of Iron Man #113, The Jack of Hearts crosses the Long Island Sound, but pauses to save the inhabitants of a capsized yacht in distress by leading the Coast Guard vessel to their spot with his powers. Making his way to the family Connecticut home, he's greeted by butler/radiation-poisoning expert Martins, and enters the study, the room where his father was murdered! He remembers his father's death at the hands of The Corporation, and how he was bathed in Zero Fluid, giving him "power beyond measure," and how it led to encounters with White Tiger, Hulk and Iron Man. Wearing armor to prevent the energies locked within his body from erupting, Jack uses "neutro-mist" to power down for an hour and actually take off his armor, yet the radiation has caused certain parts of his body to blacken. The Corporation sends Jack a "challenge" letter, from Jonathan Hemlock, a deadly assassin who's after the Zero Fluid power. Traveling to Ithaca, NY (courtesy of the return address from the letter—no, really…), Jack meets Hemlock, who soon after tosses a capsule of poison gas at the face-card hero, but Jack is able to battle on since he's "pure energy," including a "computer mind." He battles Hemlock in the fog, then takes the grappling to the greenhouse, where the assassin sends a trowel (!) after Jack, armed with a deadly warhead that explodes into the azaleas and "prize orchids," making the fight personal for Hemlock! The heated horticulturist is on the ropes when he tricks Jack into getting nailed by a tiny hand-blaster, and cuts into Jack's armor—which explodes and knocks Hemlock out! Jack leaves a calling card and flies off, no closer to giving the Corporation their comeuppance.
-Joe Tura
Chris: I'm sure I'd purchased this issue because of Jack's key contribution to a year's worth of Iron Man stories. Bill Mantlo has had time to think of how to present his zero-fluid powered hero to his best advantage, so I’m surprised to find this story to be so pedestrian. Ordinarily, I'd be grateful for a Premiere that only requires a one-page recap of a character's origin and early exploits, but there isn't much else that catches my attention. Who is Hemlock, and how did he get the job of capturing Jack? If Hemlock survives their encounter, it’s certain Jack could expect to see more of this horticulturally-minded foe. Hemlock gathers some useful information to pass on to the Corporation; in the process, of course, we the readers are learning about Jack's powers. Still, I prefer that Jack's opponent would've served as more than a device to broaden our knowledge.
Matthew: I think Jack looks cool (although that phallic thing dangling between his legs—seen in, uh, Cockrum’s character sheet and the full-pager on 27—is questionable), and have liked him since he started appearing in Marvel’s four-color comics, especially when creator Mantlo used him in his Iron Man supporting cast. So I was pleased to see him get a solo tryout, and enjoyed it with minor reservations, e.g., I found the villain somewhat annoying, partly because Bill “borrowed” the name of Trevanian’s assassin, played by Clint Eastwood in The Eiger Sanction. While Giffen’s card-themed flashbacks on page 7 are beautifully conceived and laid out, the finished art evidences no style but that of Nebres, who also inked Zeck’s nifty cover.
Spider-Man and the Not-Ready-For- Prime-Time Players in
"Live From New York, it's Saturday Night!"
Story by Chris Claremont
Art by Bob Hall and Marie Severin
Colors by Marie Severin
Letters by Gaspar Saladino and Annette Kawecki
Cover by Dave Cockrum and Marie Severin
After waiting a year, Pete and M.J. get tickets to Saturday Night Live, but arrive at NBC just minutes before showtime amid a cataclysmic summer storm, and on their way up to the balcony are shoved aside by a burly Asian man in an usher’s uniform, who sets Peter’s Spider-Sense off and has a familiar voice. In his dressing room, John Belushi is ribbed by the other Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time Players for his inability to remove a ring he received in his fan mail from Japan as, in a storeroom, the usher armors up as the Silver Samurai, “bound by giri—obligation” to retrieve the ring, sent inadvertently. “One false move and we could easily be drowned beneath a flood of super-heroes,” he warns, cautioning his minions to utilize subtlety.
As Stan Lee launches into his monologue, Pete sees a page attacked and slips off to investigate as Spidey, yet his vantage point through the control-room window hides the fact that producer Lorne Michaels is held at gunpoint. Taking a prop hammer to Garrett Morris for a Thor sketch, Bill Murray overhears the Samurai giving orders to his men, one of whom he knocks out and impersonates, his absence forcing Gilda Radner to replace Bill’s Weekend Update commentary with an Emily Litella “violets on television” riff. She and Jane Curtin are pulled below the stage via trapdoors to be searched; Spidey intervenes, but is forced to close a steam pipe severed by the Samurai’s sword while the ladies subdue the “crook” revealed as Bill, who explains the situation.
Matthew: First, a bit of housekeeping: I believe that, at least as far as quantity goes, this month represents Claremont’s high-water mark for the 1970s, with his byline appearing on no fewer than five series, although he has a lame-duck plot credit on one (Power Man and Iron Fist), and another (Ms. Marvel) is three issues from cancellation. Next, two vital questions. Was this issue a phenomenally stupid idea? Yes, which I knew even at the time, and even as one whose sole experience as a regular viewer of SNL was during this precise incarnation of the Players. Stan hosting the show represents, in my opinion, meta-comics at their worst, which just exacerbated things, and while Rick Jones was an inspired choice as musical guest, I didn’t spot him on-panel.
That said, is this the train-wreck it might have been? Mais non. With his theatrical background, editor “Broadway Bob” Hall was a natural to double as penciler and depict the backstage antics, although of course the work of inker Marie Severin, famed for her caricatures, is most in evidence, with recognizable portraits of the SNL cast. Pitting the Silver Samurai against Belushi, famed for his “Samurai [fill in the blank]” sketches, is clever, and with his line in page 30, panel 3, Chris acknowledges lifting the basic plot mechanism from the Beatles film Help! Among the more felicitous in-jokes/inspirations: Statler and Waldorf (page 7); “Super-hero in his spare time” Pete caught on-camera (page 10, panel 8); Murray’s “Kurosawa-clone” (page 14, panel 4).
My take is this: if Marvel really wanted an SNL-based comic, they should’ve sent Claremont and Hall to meet with the cast and have them co-plot the story; if this gathering of crazies actually took place, it certainly doesn’t translate to the page. And another thing: the Hall/Severin art works well enough – Mary Jane looks especially fetching, and the bit with Garrett Morris is an amusing highlight – but if they really wanted something a bit off, they should’ve signed up Tom Sutton to provide some crazy visuals.
Joe: It was the best of ideas, it was the goofiest of ideas. Spidey and the cast of SNL teaming up. My favorite superhero and the stars from one of my favorite LPs ever. ("New Shimmer is a floor wax!" "It's a dessert topping!") And in 1978 I loved it! In 2016, it's merely OK. The first thing that struck me was page 3's introduction of the cast, where every word balloon has someone's name in it, in case we don’t know who everyone is supposed to be. Which is not the worst idea, since the depictions aren't exactly photo-realistic, although in a couple of panels they look quite good, like the Emily Litella close up on page 15. Then we get the ultimate Stan Lee "cameo," plus Rick Jones as the musical guest? We must be in a comic book! And Statler and Waldorf are sitting right behind Peter & MJ, what are the odds? Sigh…The plot advances quicker than any recent SNL episode, that's for sure, and there are moments that reek of mid-show skits that are usually stinky (Stan Lee and Jane Curtin's soft shoe on page 26, just the thought makes my gut hurt.), and I imagine the audience was bored to tears since most of the time the NRFPTP weren't even on stage! The MJ and audience member Ken Morrow subplot was a charming throwaway; Belushi seemed a bit too interested in the intrigue; and Silver Samurai gets away with his plans, which doesn't happen too often in these pages. At least Peter & MJ went out after the show in the wee hours of the morning!
Joe: It was the best of ideas, it was the goofiest of ideas. Spidey and the cast of SNL teaming up. My favorite superhero and the stars from one of my favorite LPs ever. ("New Shimmer is a floor wax!" "It's a dessert topping!") And in 1978 I loved it! In 2016, it's merely OK. The first thing that struck me was page 3's introduction of the cast, where every word balloon has someone's name in it, in case we don’t know who everyone is supposed to be. Which is not the worst idea, since the depictions aren't exactly photo-realistic, although in a couple of panels they look quite good, like the Emily Litella close up on page 15. Then we get the ultimate Stan Lee "cameo," plus Rick Jones as the musical guest? We must be in a comic book! And Statler and Waldorf are sitting right behind Peter & MJ, what are the odds? Sigh…The plot advances quicker than any recent SNL episode, that's for sure, and there are moments that reek of mid-show skits that are usually stinky (Stan Lee and Jane Curtin's soft shoe on page 26, just the thought makes my gut hurt.), and I imagine the audience was bored to tears since most of the time the NRFPTP weren't even on stage! The MJ and audience member Ken Morrow subplot was a charming throwaway; Belushi seemed a bit too interested in the intrigue; and Silver Samurai gets away with his plans, which doesn't happen too often in these pages. At least Peter & MJ went out after the show in the wee hours of the morning!
Okay, I'm in. Not only was I a big-time fan of the original Not Ready For Prime Timers, but the sheer weirdness of pairing Spidey with a coke-fueled troupe of comic anarchists holds more promise than MTU's standard MARMISie fare and slapdash pairing of long underwear worthies, which often resembles comedy of a sort, if you chuckle over wrecks on the highway.
Chris Claremont opens with an unforced error: who didn't know in the '70's that summer was re-run season (part of the Three Network tyranny, kids, and that ain't the worst of it. Ya ever hearda rabbit ears?), and thus Pete and MJ would have braved "...the worst summer storm in 30 years" to arrive at a darkened and deserted 30 Rock. No matter, after that, this all goes down pretty smooth. Silver Samurai is a perfect foil for Samurai Belushi, and those who fret that John couldn't trade sword strokes with a Marvel villain, see "coke-fueled" above. Besides, Stan Lee hosting SNL is an inspired touch, and Claremont gives him borscht belt, monologue groaners about the Thing feeling rocky that are worthy of the "Man" himself.
Caricaturist Bob Hall's Players are just okay, save for Dan Aykroyd, who he nails, and Bill Murray, who is all but unrecognizable, if appropriately heroic. Hall's no Mort Drucker, but 'twill serve.
As for Silver Samurai and his magic, transporting decoder ring, who cares? This one's all about Stan and Jane Curtin doing a soft shoe. About Garrett Morris as Thor. Danny and Laraine taking out baddies in the control room with a fire extinguisher. And I wanna know what the guy sitting beside MJ suggested...
So did any of it make me laugh? Nah, but I smiled.
'Twill serve.
The Thing and Hercules in
"The Wonderful World of Brother Benjamin J. Grimm"
Story by Marv Wolfman
Art by Bob Hall and Frank Giacoia
Colors by Michele Wolfman
Letters by John Costanza
Cover by Bob Hall
To calm the rambunctious children of Camp Run-A-Mok, Ben relates an adventure that began when his constitutional was interrupted by Hercules, who plucks him up in his flying-horse-drawn chariot and takes him to Olympus; finding his home wrecked by a race of evil giants who came from a star, and unable to locate Thor, he then sought to enlist the Thing. In search of the missing Zeus, they defeat poisonous flying pythons and the escaped Crimson Tiger of the Titans before confronting the first giant. After failing to catch the chariot and falling hundreds of feet, the bull-like Y’Androgg reveals Zeus’s location—“for rescue is impossible”—in the Tower of the Sun, which per a perturbed Hercules “means death to all—even Olympians.”
Matthew: Given my dim view of Wolfman’s MTIO run, this was rather a pleasant surprise, even the title, a play on George Pal’s The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm (1962). Hall is primarily an editor now, so to see him penciling both the month’s team-up books is also a surprise (and if he is indeed the unconfirmed cover artist, he did a bang-up job), yet as with MTU, he’s an eminently logical choice, since Herc’s late, lamented—by a few of us—Champions was Bob’s first regular Marvel gig. No surprise, at least to me, that Giacoia has done a largely excellent job inking him; they give the tale a genuine atmosphere that really sells these quasi-mythological doings, with Herc being granted commendable gravitas, most notably in page 6, panel 1 and page 16, panel 6.
"Death-Plunge!"
Story by Chris Claremont and Ed Hannigan
Art by Sal Buscema and Jim Mooney
Colors by Nelson Yomtov
Letters by Gaspar Saladino and Jean Simek
Cover by Lee Elias and Frank Springer
Misty Knight attempts to extricate herself from a car sinking to the bottom of the Hudson. Co-occupant Luke Cage, Power Man, is no help as he's sleeping with the fairies behind the wheel. Misty wakes the Hero for Hire just as the windshield gives in and Luke transports the both of them to safety. Leading the police to the vacated tenement building where she was held captive, Misty discovers that Nightshade, Chunky, and their army of robots have flown the coop. The cops are not amused. The exhausted Misty collapses and is taken to the hospital while the boys track the robots to a deserted warehouse. When they bust in, Nightshade unleashes her entire army of metal men upon the heroes but Luke and Danny reduce them to nuts, bolts, and shrapnel. Nightshade is apprehended and led off to the pokey while Iron Fist and Power Man contemplate their future as Heroes for Hire.
-Peter Enfantino
Peter Enfantino: I'd, by no means, label it "cataclysmic," but this was certainly the highpoint of the "Deadly Nightshade Trilogy," The action flows nicely; we seem to be moving in a direction that might answer the question, "Why Power Man and Iron Fist?"; and Buscmooney (or whatever nickname Prof. Matthew will tag Sal and Jim with) can handle the heavy lifting quite nicely. One question though: if you were trapped in a sunken Oldsmobile and the windshield shattered, why would you try to open the door to get out? Reminds me of the joke about the three guys walking across the desert after their car broke down.
Iron Fist has been sort of an afterthought for most of these past three issues; it’s unfortunate, since we’ve gotten away from the standard of their first three issues (PM #48-50), as Danny’s meeting and eventual collaboration with Cage demonstrated how these two unlikely comrades could work effectively together. Danny’s pivotal contribution at the end illustrates some of his unique skill set; hopefully, this is an indicator that we can expect to see him and Cage paired more closely in issues to come.
Matthew: I’m constantly amazed at how out of touch I’ve gotten. For instance, I’d have thought that the scripter, letterer, editor and/or editor-in-grief of a comic book called Power Man (in the indicia) or Power Man and Iron Fist (on the cover) might know how to spell “Power Man,” even if they can’t decide what the title is. Right? Yet at the top of the splash page, and at least thrice throughout this issue, he’s referred to as “Power-Man.” Which is it? Likewise, I’d expect that the employees of a company based at 575 Madison Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022—per the selfsame indicia—would know how to spell “Manhatten.” Anyway, some robots get blowed up real good and Claremont, perhaps realizing his folly at last, bows out.
Matthew: I’m constantly amazed at how out of touch I’ve gotten. For instance, I’d have thought that the scripter, letterer, editor and/or editor-in-grief of a comic book called Power Man (in the indicia) or Power Man and Iron Fist (on the cover) might know how to spell “Power Man,” even if they can’t decide what the title is. Right? Yet at the top of the splash page, and at least thrice throughout this issue, he’s referred to as “Power-Man.” Which is it? Likewise, I’d expect that the employees of a company based at 575 Madison Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022—per the selfsame indicia—would know how to spell “Manhatten.” Anyway, some robots get blowed up real good and Claremont, perhaps realizing his folly at last, bows out.
"July 4, 1978..."
Story by Marv Wolfman
Art by Carmine Infantino, Steve Leialoha, and Al Gordon
Colors by Glynis Wein
Letters by Rick Parker
Cover by Carmine Infantino and Steve Leialoha
Jessica and Jerry resolve to discover how Pyrotechnics was involved in the death of Jonathan Drew. Jessica, as Spider-Woman, eavesdrops on a Pyrotechnics board meeting, and hears Congressman Wyatt express his concerns that S-W has been seen snooping around, and states his preference to be rid of her. She glides thru the air and follows his car to a base, with uniformed staff, who ask him when the "injections" will be ready. Meanwhile, Jerry sneaks into Pyrotechnics, knocks out a guard, and snags his uniform so he can infiltrate the Pyrotechnics records room and click photos of files for later review. Jessica and Jerry think Magnus has not told them everything he knows about Jonathan; Magnus describes how Jessica's father, distraught over his inability to treat Jessica's radiation poisoning, had left her to the care of the man who became the High Evolutionary. Jonathan's future work then led to a discovery that caught the attention of Pyrotechnics. Magnus wonders whether Jonathan had tried to leave Pyrotechnics, and was killed as a result. Spider-Woman, now certain of Wyatt's connection to her father, leaves in a rush; she breaks into Wyatt's home and compels him to reveal Pyrotechnics' grand scheme. She then breaks into Pyrotechnics to declare their "mad scheme" will be stopped, but S-W herself is KO'd by Brother Grimm. When she wakes to find herself a prisoner, Wyatt assembles the pieces for her: Jonathan Drew's spider-extract serum proved to be a key to cure Jessica's radiation poisoning. Wyatt and his associates will take an injection of a similar serum in order to protect themselves from the detonation of a neutron bomb, set to go off in a few hours. Wyatt thinks he is sending out his inoculated troops to set off the bomb in Los Angeles, but instead, Jerry has intercepted Wyatt's troops on their way from Pyrotechnics; so now, Pyrotechnics is overrun by SHIELD agents! Jerry shoots Wyatt, but not before the congressman activated the destruct sequence; with his dying breath, Wyatt admits to having Jonathan killed, before the final testing of the spider-serum had been completed. Jerry and Jessica, and the SHIELD force, make their hasty escape, before the complex goes up in a huge, fiery explosion. -Chris Blake
Chris: Marv does a solid job of (finally) wrapping up the Who Killed Jonathan Drew? storyline. Marv had become so distracted by Brother Grimm, the Hangman, Jessica’s nightmare, and Morgan Le Fay, that I was beginning to wonder when he would focus on wrapping this up. Marv led us down a similar garden path while writing Daredevil, as months went by, with little progress in the Maxwell Glenn story. Come to think of it, we had a similar problem in our long, long wait for the Blade and Hannibal King showdown with Deacon Frost in Tomb of Dracula, as Marv also strung that out.
Matthew: I had this pegged as a big, fat middle finger raised by Wolfman on his way out the door, until I saw he writes one more issue—can’t wait. Its title and premise suggesting a sorry-assed Madbomb ripoff, the story is a mess, if no more so than #6 would suggest: Magnus (not Merlin!) has hinted at vast knowledge of Jonathan Drew’s fate…yet now claims very little, while this cockamamie conspiracy and the whirlwind Jessie/Jerry romance are equal head-scratchers. Not sure who did what to Infantino’s work, so I’ll reserve further judgment on the art until we have just one inker at a time, but Gordon is kicking off a 10-issue stint in that capacity, and Leialoha will pencil virtually all of #25-46, albeit inking himself only at each end of his run.
"Guess Who's Buried in Grant's Tomb!"
Story by Bill Mantlo
Art by Jim Mooney and Mike Esposito
Colors by Phil Rachelson
Letters by Joe Rosen
Cover by Keith Pollard and Frank Giacoia
Cyclone attacks Spider-Man and Moon Knight, sending the caped mercenary flying and making Spidey vanish, before the "Gallic blowhard" [love that Spidey zing!] sucks the air out of the Maggia assassin's lungs for daring to phone "Big M," and walks off. Spidey comes out of a nearby manhole, and hops aboard Moon Knight's copter to try and figure out the Maggia's "whereabouts." Quick aside to our supporting cast: Hector Ayala is annoyed at his sister and the world in his South Bronx apartment; Holly Gillis picks up the phone, then puts it down out of guilt; Mary Jane calls Peter, who isn't home, and goes to the disco with "a square"; and Betty Brant gets no answer from Ned in Paris, bemoaning her lost love and that seeing Peter couldn't rekindle anything. Our heroes get to Moon Knight's mansion, with artificial fog, a secret underground pool entrance, and having Marlene hide out to try and keep some secrets from Spidey. In MK's "war room," we see his files on the Maggia, and that there's a major meeting happening tonight—which Spidey surmises is being held at Grant's Tomb from the assassin's circling the landmark on a tour guide. At the meet, Cyclone holds court, with the rest of the Maggia mobsters awaiting Big M's arrival. The terrific twosome lay some traps to hold the goons in, then leap in and take out nearly the entire entourage before Cyclone "joins zee fray" by blowing some wind—which pins his own men against the walls! Big M peeks out from Grant's sarcophagus in the middle of the room, then quickly closes the lid again to let Cyclone "stew" in his own "insane brew of a battle." Lurking above, Moon Knight drops a capsule that he picked up at a quick stop at Stark International (on the way to the Tomb), which causes the temperature at the "eye of the storm" to drop and stiffen Cyclone's limbs, ending the battle—but no doubt, the Maggia war will continue!
- Joe Tura
Joe: So, why does Cyclone look like Power Man (the bad guy) on the front cover? Well, that's because Keith Pollard is not exactly the best Spidey artist, something we'll learn in the pages of Amazing soon enough. But then again it's C-list Cyclone, so you have to beef him up a little to get people to buy the comic I suppose. And he looks even worse on page 1—again too muscular, and with this poop-eating grin that just looks dumb. Not a good start to say the least. But Mooney is a solid professional. Nothing crazy, nothing extraordinary, but solid, especially with Esposito, one of my favorite finishers, helping out. A lot of panels look almost like homages to Ditko and Romita, which is OK by me. Mantlo's story is a bit of a throwback to Stan also, with Moon Knight gee-whizzing over Spidey most of the time, and the wall-crawler himself basically solving all the issues and taking out goons with more banter than usual. And it all ends with Moon Knight saving the day after a quick stop at Stark International for the capsule gizmo, and no answers to who "Big M" is, which sets up the next issue, as well as a hinted-at Maggia vs. Spidey war.
Matthew: Remember my prediction that, as things steadily declined under Shooter, many a review would start this way? “Well, it isn’t terrible, but…” But it doesn’t work. The return of that boring and forgettable Gallic embarrassment, Cyclone, was bad enough, as was the slowness of Spidey and Moon Knight to get past their MARMIS, yet to me, it said it all that MK’s “Rogue’s [sic] Board” in page 16, panel 2 left me scratching my head. The Kingpin has, I believe, consistently been a formidable rival, not a stooge, of the Maggia. A.I.M., too, was in opposition to the Maggia as early as Tales of Suspense #99, more than a decade agone. And since when has Hydra, seen as recently as MTIO #32, been “defunct”?
Chris: Pretty average issue. Mantlo finally wore me out with all this thought – from both heroes – about whether or not to trust the other; I’ll take you up in my ‘copter, but I still don’t trust you – Hey, he’s pretty good, I guess I was wrong not to trust him, etc etc. The Stark International angle seems pretty clearly to have been tacked-on in the late innings, as it’s fairly obvious the lettering is by a different hand for Moon Knight’s thought balloons about “a surprise” to get from “a physicist” he knows at SI (p 17, last panel); I guess Bob Hall wasn’t buying Mantlo’s explanation for why MK would have a quick-freeze capsule in his utility belt, so they had to scramble-up a quick Plan B. This seems like a perfectly valid way to foil Le Cyclone, so it’s too bad Mantlo couldn’t figure how to make it read as an organic facet of the story.
The criminal-hierarchy on p 17 is fairly impressive, as we see the unseen Big M as a heap big cheese. At the sight of the big black mark stating Hydra to be “defunct,” Hydra-storian Tony Isabella signals the waiter for another extra-large with double anchovies.
"The Hunter!"
Story by Archie Goodwin
Art by Walt Simonson and Bob Wiacek
Colors by Bob Sharen
Letters by Denise Wohl
Cover by Walt Simonson
An ex-Imperial Storm Trooper named Valance (who was once left for dead in a battle some time earlier), accompanied by a team of bounty hunters, rampages through the galaxy searching for Han Solo and Luke Skywalker for their part in the destruction of the Death Star. Valance’s obsession with Luke is fueled by his own obsessive hatred for all droids and Luke’s friendship with them. After raiding a medical station, they find Don-Wan Kihotay in a sick bed, babbling deliriously about Han, Chewbacca and “a boy with two droids.” Valance tracks the rag-tag group Han teamed up with months earlier, finding the walking Rabbit Jaxxon and Amaiza on a backwater planet. Jaxx is captured by Valance’s men who torture him for information he refuses to give about the location of where they met Han. The men are shot down by Amaiza, who absently spills the location of Aduba-3. One of the men was still alive and gets the information to Valance. The hunter arrives on the planet after Jaxx and Amaiza arrive and warn Jimm, the Starkiller Kid, and his wife, Merri. Valance’s men are picked off by the group and Valance realizes Jimm is not Luke Skywalker. He has been hunting the wrong person. He drops his blaster and laughs like a madman until he suddenly stops and blasts them all with an energy bolt from his hand. He makes his escape and on his own ship laments his carelessness in nearly exposing his secret: his battle injuries long ago resulted in his becoming a cyborg. -Scott McIntyre
Scott: A fill-in issue, but a good one. Aside from a full page panel recapping the movie, none of the main characters appear. Yet, Valance is such an interesting character, you barely notice. It’s a quick, breezy tale with lot of little in-jokes, such as two of the bounty hunters torturing the Bugs Bunny- looking Jaxxon being named Fud and Dafi. Valance’s secret is saved for the last panel and it’s a good one, but the eye is drawn to that final image before it reads the entire page. So it is somewhat blunted as a surprise. Of course, there’s no good reason why a man who wants to keep his mechanical nature a secret would tear away his faux flesh to expose half his face and all of his hand that way. You could say, “yeah, but he repaired it afterward.” You could. But future issues would just say you were wrong. Really good art by Walt Simonson and Bob Wiacek accompanies Archie Goodwin’s superior script. The best fill-in issue I’ve read in a while.
Matthew: Proving once again that Mrs. Bradley didn’t raise any stupid children, the lettercol admits, “a lot of people were reading the Star Wars comic who don’t normally read comics at all. So, in our sneaky, mercenary, but basically lovable fashion, we decided to let this great, untapped group in on what they had been missing by putting in as many ads as we could about the multitude of other Marvel masterpieces available for the discerning reader. In order to insure [sic] maximum exposure, we even sacrificed the letters page for a few issues.” Despite a “surprise” ending telegraphed more clearly than “What hath God wrought!,” and the return of some annoying characters, this was a fun change of pace enhanced by guest artists Walt and Bob.
"Passage to Pellucidar!"
Story by David Anthony Kraft
Art by John Buscema and Klaus Janson
Colors by George Roussos
Letters by John Costanza
Cover by John Buscema and Klaus Janson
The mercenaries, and the Mad Arab who is their only ticket home, emerge from the portal near a circle of stone monoliths, and go in search of the princess while Tarzan, unseen and badly beaten, passes out. Blindly obeying the command to advance, Ayesha is brought back to her senses by stumbling into a frigid river, and is taken to be a goddess by a young Pellucidarian hunter; although they cannot communicate, he helps her survive attacks by hyenadons and crocodiloids, leading her away when they hear her enemies approach. At the ruins, Tarzan runs afoul of a cannibal cult riding giant birds and—vastly outnumbered—is forced to flee, but after making a thousand-foot cliff-dive into a river when cut off, he emerges face to face with corsairs. -Matthew Bradley
Matthew: Well, we’ve finally arrived in the land down under—way under—and I believe this is the first time we’ve seen entrance effected by mystical means, rather than by iron mole or polar opening, but with his measured plotting, Dave the Dude so far tells us very little of Pellucidar itself, barely alluding to Tarzan’s prior visit. Its upward-curving horizon has gotta be a tough thing to depict, although Big John gives it the old college try on page 3, while Janson, who did double duty as colorist on the last two issues, is here replaced by Roussos in that capacity. There will presumably be a point to Pierre’s political mouthings (“What prestige I can bring to the light of Socialism!”), although right now I can’t imagine for the life of me what that might turn out to be.
"Mine... This Hammer!"
Story by Roy Thomas
Art by John Buscema and Tom Palmer
Colors by Glynis Wein
Letters by Joe Rosen
Cover by John Buscema and Joe Sinnott
Thor and Sif come to the aid of a weakened Odin but the old man insists that they make preparations for the trial of Loki. Speaking of the Mirthful One, Loki remains chained in an Asgardian dungeon but is visited by "Red," one of the camera crew from Earth, here in Asgard to film a documentary on Gods. "Red" has been trusted by the Thunder God to hold on to Thor's belt of strength for safekeeping but the allure of Sif makes the mortal dream of bigger things. Egged on by Loki, "Red" dons the belt and performs a few other menial tasks and, as the trial gets underway, the new improved "Red" (now calling himself Thor) first kills former comrade Joey, then busts through a wall and challenges the God of Thunder to a battle; the winner gets Sif. The New God on the Block proves to be much too powerful and Thor goes down in a heap. To head off the death of her loved one (and Balder as well), Sif agrees to fly off with Red Thor for a bit of romance. -Peter Enfantino
Matthew: Yes, I understand there are supposed to be some unanswered questions remaining in regard to the insufferable Red Norvell, aka Thor 2.0, yet I had sufficiently lost patience with them by the end of this issue that I was ready to agree with that misguided minicam-operator himself and say, “Nuts! No sense tryin’ to figure out just what happened.” By the time Roy gets around to explaining it all—assuming he ever does so to my satisfaction—he’ll presumably have bent over backwards to rationalize the apparent contradictions of established, uh, Thor lore, and taken an equally tortuous path toward restoring the status quo. So I can wait, especially with my complaints about The Effect of Palmer Rays on Buscema-in-the-Moon Pencils, or something.
The Buscema/Palmer art continues to do well, although it seems there are more loosely-realized panels this time than in our previous chapters. I will focus my attention on the highlights: a truly spooky image, as Loki’s disembodied astrally-projected head compels Red to dive into the flames; despite the fact that Loki is facing the fire, his face is hidden in shadow (p 11, last pnl); Red’s crazy look of triumph, as he grabs hold of the hammer’s handle (p 17, pnl 2); Thor holds up his right hand to urge his allies back, as he struggles to regain his feet (p 22, last pnl); Sif’s determination, challenged by Red’s threats, crumbles to resignation, as she slowly turns her back and lets her sword drop from her hand (p 30).
"What If the Fantastic Four Were the Original Marvel Bullpen?"
Story by Jack Kirby
Art by Jack Kirby, Mike Royer, and Bill Wray
Colors by Carl Gafford
Letters by Mike Royer and Bill Wray
Cover by Jack Kirby and Joe Sinnott
On an alternate Earth, the Fantastic Four are battling a giant creature—but the players are a little different: Mr. Fantastic is Stan Lee, Human Torch is Sol Brodsky, The Thing is Jack Kirby, and Invisible Girl is Flo Steinberg—all members of the Marvel Comics family! The brute fires his weapon to take out the men, but Flo is able to project a force field around it as he fires again, knocking him out…and there's something familiar about the face, Flo thinks….it's Doctor Murrow, the man they came to find! He's been transformed like the foursome has, so they search his lab for hours, finally finding "the box"—which starts emitting cosmic rays! The group flashes back to the day in the Marvel Comics offices when the quartet unwrapped a package that was a similar box and results in a shower of cosmic rays that gives them odd powers! Kirby is turned into a thick, scaly monster; Flo turns invisible; Sol turns into a real-life Torch and flies out the window, only to be rescued by a stretching Stan's giant hand. The group realizes the "S" People are behind their new powers, and dub themselves "The Fantastic Four."
The Why Not? letters page explains the origins behind this month's alternate-reality tale. After noting it's the first Kirby art of the Fantastic Four in a long time, and it's also the first script he's written for the characters, the editors explain Roy Thomas (the guy doing the explainin') wanted to do a story where the Marvel Bullpen gained the powers of the F.F., with himself as the Human Torch. But in order to properly devote his time to other mags, he offered the concept to Kirby, who replaced Roy with Sol Brodsky since he knew him better and the setting of the early 60s was more realistic.
There are some nice moments also. Flo shaking Stan on page 7 is pretty funny, as is his exclamation on the next page "By the faithful fans of FOOM!" The page 9 full page is neat, and includes an impressive neck stretch (Stan gets a ton of great moments for some reason—I guess this was pre-feud). The origin was pretty cool, corny dialogue like "I just want to disappear" and "I'm really getting hot under the collar about this" notwithstanding. "Production men can't fly--!!" was maybe my favorite line, and it's followed by Stan's saving Sol with a humongously stretched fist that's simply awesome. As is the giant balloon Stan that blocks Sub-Mariner from attacking Jack, who does get to share some witty repartee with the Prince such as "fish-face" and "scaly buffoon." But ultimately, not as great overall as I remembered. It sucks to get old and mature (finally!).
Matthew: Mixed feelings here: with one foot out the door again, Jack isn’t exactly leaving me with warm and fuzzy memories of his Bronze-Age stint as writer/artist/editor, and since I’ve already kvetched about the art-imitates-life aspect of Stan hosting SNL, you can imagine my reaction to this premise. And yet…since it is, by definition, more a flight of fancy than a variant version of an existing Marvel tale (as it were), it avoids some of the more annoying traits of prior issues. The current enmity between the pro-Lee and pro-Kirby kamps makes it charming, even bizarre, to see them depicted by Jack with such relative collegiality; the artwork looks like, well, Kirby, so I’m forced to assume that double-duty inkers and letterers Royer & Wray did their job.
Mark: Got this one during my Great Comic Buying Splurge of a decade ago and I'm anxious to see if my affection for it holds up under the strict academic scrutiny demanded within these hallowed, ivy-covered halls.
It does. Over and above my lifelong Kirby Krush (and the historic significance of this being the King's first "FF" story since he left his signature title - and Marvel - in 1970), this one could serve as a model to breathe life into a title running on fumes. The basic WI? formula is to rework specific origins (e.g., Jane Foster becomes Thor instead of Don Blake) or famous Silver Age stories by changing a few key details while otherwise aping the original, but here Kirby as writer (working from Roy Thomas' idea) doesn't just go off book, but pretty well lights it on fire (Better Call Sol).
As a "model," I don't mean repeating the self-referential, almost incestuous transformation of Bullpen staffers into spandex heroes (it's a one-off idea, forunately wrung for all its delightful worth here), but rather letting the creators go wild rummaging through the Marvel toy-box, not just substituting a piece or two in continuity-heavy simulacrums of past glories. Bringing Conan into the modern world next issue is a perfect example.
Before leaving the two Jacks, I need to take issue with a couple anecdotes about the creation of the issue, as reported in Sean Howe's Marvel Comics The Unknown Story. While an estimable tome, I've discovered FF-related errors therein before, and here Howe exaggerates one detail and perhaps invents another, both amping up page-turning drama and conflict. Roy Thomas, who the letters page explains offered the concept to Jack, knew full-well Kirby's contract called for him to write every book he drew. And as WI? editor, Roy had been farming out the writing for months anyway, circumstances hardly worthy of Howe's heated, crossed-swords description that "...Kirby refused to allow Thomas to script it..."
More egregious - because Howe could have checked this but didn't - is his yarn that an unnamed editor "...corrected all the grammar in the dialogue -- except that of the Jack Kirby character," the implication being this would reveal Kirby (the writer) as a monosyllabic hack, barely fit to scribble with crayon. Great story. Another young buck twisting the knife in a burnt-out old-timer. Except it's bunk.
To wit:
"We must remind Sol to trim down a bit..."
"I'm afraid we'll be subject to change from now on."
"It's very nice of you to say that, Flo."
"Don't deprive your boys of a good fight."
And that last comes in the heat of battle! Not only is there no taint of the Bowery in the character's "uncorrected" dialogue, it's far more staid and straight-laced than anything Lee ever put in the Thing's mouth. Giving Howe the benefit of the doubt, let's assume someone told him that story. He's still responsible for ladling it out, unverified.
Hope you enjoyed the rant, class. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
Loved the throwaway, Island of Dr. Murrow Wellsian reference, the gleeful embrace of the pre-FF, "monster book" sensibility that has Skrulls sending notes signed "the 'S' people." Ditto that notion that writing about Reed Richards transforms Stan into a genius inventor, and that Namor keeps an "extra-terrestrial monitor" behind a curtain in his throne room. In all this - hardly tossed off - Kirby captures the outlandish, bursting-at-the-seams sense of what next? energy and invention of the early FF.
And pity the fool who can only look at it as pre-adolescent pabulum, rather than through the wonder in an eight-year-old's eyes.
"Desolation"
Story by Chris Claremont and John Byrne
Art by John Byrne and Terry Austin
Colors by Glynis Wein
Letters by Gaspar Saladino and Jean Simek
Cover by John Byrne and Terry Austin
Trapped in Antarctica in the aftermath of their devastating battle with Magneto, the nearly frozen Beast carries Jean through the thickness of a blizzard. Then, he sees the lights of a U.S. Navy helicopter, but he knows they won’t be seen in the storm. He wakes Jean, yet she is still in shock, crying out for Scott and she lets loose a Phoenix burst. The chopper doesn’t fail to see it and approaches as Hank calms Jean and tells her that Scott and the others are dead. However, unknown to them, the others survive and finally make their way to the surface in a much different climate – a section of Antarctica exempt from cold and ice…the Savage Land! And they’re being watched by a lone man… While the X-Men spend the next week acclimating themselves to their new home, fighting off strange prehistoric creatures, Hank and Jean return to the mansion to tell Professor X and Lilandra that the others have perished. Back in the Savage Land, the X-Men enjoy the relaxation and hospitality of a friendly tribe. Scott tells the others they'll leave in the morning and to enjoy the rest while they can. While Scott shaves over a reflecting pool, his own reflection reminds him of Corsair and he is about to make a fateful connection when Storm breaks his train of thought. They speak of Jean and how her death never registered for him. Hank’s, yes, but not Jean’s. Ororo suggests that perhaps what he felt for Jean wasn’t love after all. Meanwhile, Colossus goes off to get laid while Wolverine grieves over Jean. Relaxing after a swim, Ororo is caught off guard by the man who was tracking them and he violently syphons some of her life energy. It is so overwhelming, the man begins to change into a winged creature. Both he and Ororo scream, and a lightning bolt erupts from the ground, which brings the others running. When they arrive, they see Storm unmoving and in the clutches of the mutant Sauron! -Scott McIntyre
Chris: At first, I thought Scott’s lack of grief at Jean’s apparent loss might be due to his psychic link with her; if he hadn’t sensed she had died, he would have no need to grieve. The reason he cites, though, is quite different: since her manifestation of Phoenix power, Jean has become a different person to him. Ororo chooses to judge Scott, as she thinks he is resistant to change, and misses the fact that Scott is right; the point is not that Jean is no longer a “girl,” but that she isn’t quite Jean anymore, a distinction Scott should appreciate more than anyone. (I don’t want to spoil the moment on p 16 – hence this comment is in parentheses – but wouldn’t Xavier have picked up on the deaths of the X-team, if in fact they had died at Magneto’s HQ -?)
The Byrne/Austin team never flags from greatness. I’ll start with a subtle moment, as we see a shaft of sunlight reach toward Ororo as Peter helps her out of the tunnel (p 6, pnl 5); the daylight, and fresh air, certainly mean more to Ororo than anyone else present. The full-page reveal of the Savage Land reminds me of a 19th-century landscape of the Hudson Valley school, as there are fine details in the foreground, and a sweeping vista further off (p 7); Byrne clearly states the Savage Land is no simple idyll, as we see a gnarled, twisted branch, and an assortment of torn and bug-eaten ferns and leaves. The pterosaur’s attack is masterfully done (p 10), as a shadow encroaches on Banshee, who can’t tell what his distant teammates are shouting and gesturing about (pnl 3), before the nasty claw closes around him (last pnl). Another creeping shadow as Karl Lykos closes in on an unsuspecting Ororo, in an unusual vertical panel (p 27, pnl 4). OK, now I’m going to flip back and share in some of Sean’s delight at the sight of Ororo’s supple curves, as she adopts native garb (p 17, last pnl).
Mark: How great is that frigid splash page? It makes me shiver in the middle of July, in San Diego.
Enough. I gotta shoot this up the pneumatic tube to the Dean's gilded-office before Fan-Boy really gets off the leash.
Matthew: Neither markedly better than, nor drastically different from, its predecessors, this somehow gave me a greater sense of the well-oiled Claremont/Byrne/Austin machine, with its consistent excellence easier to take for granted if most mags weren’t steadily declining. I forget the explanation, but Chris wisely planted a recent seed of Charles fretting that his mental link with his students—always loved how he calls them “my X-Men”—was on the fritz, or he wouldn’t waste a moment thinking them dead. The drama of that belief is moving; Ororo is stunning, as are pages 7 and 31; Sean is a refreshing voice of reason (page 15, panel 4); Scott is literally commanding (“No one makes a move except on my mark!”); Sauron is ever welcome.
I'm just gonna riff a bit, class, because this lesson plan is so late that Dean P is casting a baleful eye at my recently upgraded parking space and, worse, threatening to guilt-trip me again with his woeful tale of Harlan Ellison cleaning his glasses on the Dean's shirt, without so much as a fair-thee-well.
My tardiness defense is simple. Nearly everything about this series - yeah, I'm only three issues in, but that's plenty of time for huge quality swings - has been so consistently excellent it doesn't just blunt the critical scalpel, it snaps it right off, leaving at least this professor bereft of quips or cogent analysis, when I just wanna indulge a troubling fan-boy impulse to shout, WHAT A GREAT FRICKIN' COMIC! in all caps.
But I won't.
In fact, criticism:
While appreciating Hank McCoy's scientific and emotional detachment, after fifteen years as an X-Man, Avenger, and recently uncloseted furry, he should know better than to emphatically pronounce the team dead over a minor inconvenience like a molten lava flow.
Take that, Chris Claremont!
Gotta love Ororo's modest-sounding description of her borrowed bikini as "robes," just because it comes with a little, moth-eaten cape. And that John Byrne sure knows a little sumthing about human anatomy...
Enough. I gotta shoot this up the pneumatic tube to the Dean's gilded-office before Fan-Boy really gets off the leash. Also This Month
< Crazy #43Devil Dinosaur #7
Flintstones #7
Human Fly #14
Kid Colt Outlaw #226
Machine Man #7
Marvel Classics Comics #34
Marvel Super-Heroes #75
Marvel Super Action #10
Marvel Tales #96
Marvel Triple Action #44
Scooby Doo #7
THOSE MARVEL-OUS MAGAZINES
Cover by Joe Jusko
"A Matter of Necessity!"
Story by Chris Claremont
Art by Carmine Infantino and Bob Wiacek
"Time Travel: The Fantasy of Science Fiction"
Text by Arthur Curtis
Illustrations by Tom Yeates and Janet Elizabeth Aulisio
"Worlds Enough"
Story by Don and Maggie Thompson
Art by Lee Elias and George Roussos
Another Preview, another Star-Lord saga; again drawn by Infantino, much to mag buyers' chagrin. That makes 4 Star-Lords out of 15 Previews, and one more to come in issue #18. Geez. Someone up there likes Star-Lord. Either that or they ran out of original ideas. Ironically, the editorial by editor Rick Marschall doesn't mention Star-Lord at all; instead he talks about our second tale, "Worlds Enough," and how it's the greatest thing since sliced bread—until next issue's horror spectacular, that is!
Next on the docket is "Time Travel: The Fantasy of Science Fiction," an essay by Arthur Curtis. There's two pieces of odd art, a mention of the comic strip Alley Oop, and that's enough of that. Let's move on to the aforementioned "Worlds Enough" which, like a poem I wrote in high school (one of my better ones, which isn't saying much), takes its name from Andrew Marvell's "Had we but world enough, and time..," the first line of "To His Coy Mistress," written in the 1600s. Written by Don and Maggie Thompson, taken from Don's award-winning short story (although I can't find what award it won). The Thompsons were well-known critics, and went on to edit The Comic Buyer's Guide, which every faculty member has owned at least one of I'm sure, along with other checklists and price guides and publications. Groundbreaking figures in the industry for sure. Don passed away in 1994, but Maggie still appears on her son's pop-culture podcast and makes appearances at conventions.
Lee Elias and George Roussos (formerly George Bell, and "out on inkers' retirement" for this one) tackle the art in this offbeat story, and many of the full pagers feature interesting layouts. The art itself is nowhere as amazing as the editorial claims, but it's passable, and lends itself nicely to the black-and-white format, with deep grays and tons of shadows. The Thompsons present a Twilight Zone-esque tale that you just know isn't going to end well once Harry sends that jumperpack jumping, although by that time you're actually rooting for the poor slob. We end on a letters page where most of the writers fawn over "The UFO Connection" from Preview #13, and I'm wondering why I bothered even to look at that nonsense, because these people did not read the same magazine I did. --Joe Tura
October 1978
Cover Art by Bob Larkin
“The Boy Who Cried Hulk”
Story by Doug Moench
Art by Ron Wilson and Fran Matera
“Graven Image of Death”
Story by Doug Moench
Art by Gene Colan and Tony DeZuniga
“Transformations”
Text by Rick Marschall
“Readers Rampage”
We know we are in trouble immediately with the text on the back of Bob Layton’s excellent wrap-around cover:
Emotion, Pain and Joy Clash
As Hulk Battles Child Abuse
Against Bright Carnival Backdrop
Oh boy.
Torrance drives the youngster to his home and tells his parents that they are responsible for the cost of fixing the coaster — Todd’s drunken father John defiantly challenges him to take them to court. After Torrance storms off, Todd tells his parents that a monster caused the fire, enraging Mr. Gregory who beats and whips him with a belt. The next day, Bruce Banner awakes in a field and comes across the battered and bruised boy on the same hilltop as yesterday. He quickly realizes that child was abused for something that the Hulk did: overcome by guilt, he promises to meet Todd at 6:00 and treat him to a night at the carnival.
Grrrrooooaaaannnn. I knew that the magazine’s new direction would be painful, but not on the level of a root canal performed with a soldering iron. What audience did Doug Moench have in mind when writing this maudlin and juvenile crapola? Can’t image that anyone who read the monthly comic would have approved. And this story probably wouldn’t even make the cut as an episode of the TV series. I also have to take Moench to task for, yet again, having the Hulk injuring innocent animals — tossing the lions around — something he already did in The Rampaging Hulk #7. I guess abuse only counts when it’s done to kids, huh Doug? And there’s a long scene where Coco the clown tells Banner that he could never understand carny folks because they are considered freaks, don’t fit in, blah, blah, blah. The art is terrible as well: really not sure, but I think that Ron Wilson was trying to capture the vibe of early Jack Kirby. If he was, total fail.
Stalking the rooftops of New York City, Moon Knight — aka mercenary Marc Spector, aka jetsetter Steven Grant, aka cab driver Jake Lockley — is on the trail of a murderer, three victims to his credit so far. While he does spot a suspect, he is too late to stop another killing. He glides away and quickly changes into his Jake Lockley identity: the killer’s modus operandi is to flee the scene of the crime in a taxi. After picking up the gunman, Jake drives him to a sprawling estate on Riverside Drive. After the man exits the car, Lockley slips back into his Moon Knight outfit and pins him to a tree with a crescent-moon throwing star. The hitman stammers that he was hired by the man who lives in the mansion, Joel Luxor, and told to steal a locker key from that night’s victim. The Knight takes the key, ties up the killer and tosses him in the backseat.
At the newspaper office, Moon Knight talks to his friend, an editor named Curt, who informs him that the key belongs to the locker of Jim Polhaus — Spector, in turn, tells the newsman that the reporter had been murdered a few hours earlier. In Polhaus’ locker, Knight finds an unpublished article about a statuette of Horus now on display in the Natural History Museum, a priceless icon under the personal care of curator Fenton Crane and something that Joel Luxor wanted to steal. Frenchie flies the Mooncopter to the museum and the night hero slips inside. He immediately realizes that the Horus treasure is fake and that an archaic flintlock is missing from a display — the weapon fired the same type of bullets that killed Luxor.
After finding Fenton’s address in the administration office, he heads to the curator’s apartment: inside he finds Luxor’s hitman in a closet, still tied. The killer, Anton Varro, confesses that he is not really an assassin, but a rival collector who wanted to use the key to bargain for the figurine. Moon Knight deduces that Fenton is heading to Luxor’s mansion. Fearing for Marlene’s life, Moon Knight flies him back to the end of Riverside Drive: Spector sees his cab outside and hears a shot from within the house.
By the way, the title for next issue’s Hulk story is “The Color of Hate.” Gee, do ya think Dougie is gonna clue us in that racism is bad? -Tom Flynn
On Moon Knight: This is in my trusty Marvel Firsts (in fact, it’s the last such story to fall within the purview of this blog), so I’d never read it before and was surprised, first, that the “back-up” story is only two pages shorter than a regular issue and, second, that it’s drawn by Gentleman Gene. No surprise, of course, that creator Moench would usher MK into his solo strip, debuting smack dab in the middle of his two-part PPTSS guest-shot, but alas, the Special Edition reprints don’t kick in until Sienkiewicz takes over in #13, so I’ll never find out if Marlene gets killed by Crane—oh, wait… Never been a big fan of “Moonknight,” as the cover sloppily calls him, yet freely admit he looks cool, especially with the commendable Coluniga art. -Matthew Bradley
October 1978
Cover Art by Ernie Chan
“The Lair of the Ice Worm”
Script by Roy Thomas
Art by Carmine Infantino and Alfredo Alcala
“Moon Skulls: Part I”
Script Don Glut
Art by David Wenzel and Bill Wray
“Conan of Des Moines”
“The Mirrors of Tuzun Thune”
Script by Roy Thomas
Art by Mike Ploog
“Swords and Scrolls”
Beginning with the rather poor Ernie Chan cover, this is, sadly, a sub-par issue. However, it is one of the rare Savage Sword magazines that features three of Robert E. Howard’s major characters: Conan, of course, plus Solomon Kane and King Kull. I assume that John Buscema was overwhelmed by the extra workload of this month’s 34-page annual, so Roy was saddled with Carmine Infantino on the Conan story — fortunately Alfredo Alcala is on hand so the art is fairly palatable. In all, the most impressive tale is surprisingly Kull’s, thanks to the phantasmagorical artwork of Mike Ploog. Listen, I have nothing against the Atlantean barbarian as a character, it’s just that his now-cancelled series sucked on a consistent basis.
Set during Conan’s youth, “The Lair of the Ice Worm” finds the Cimmerian in the frigid Eiglophian Mountains, riding south to sell his sword to the highest bidder. He soon comes across a helpless maiden being attacked by hairy man-beasts. Without thinking, he charges on his horse, driving a few through with his lance — when that weapon shatters he continues the carnage with his battle axe. While he manages to drive off the remaining brutes, his horse is killed in the process. The strangely-accented woman reveals that her name is Ilga of the Virunian tribe: she was traveling with her uncle and other men to the Hyperborean city of Sigtona to find her a suitable mate. But the party was attacked and slaughtered by the shaggy cannibals — only the barbarian’s intervention saved her from becoming their next meal.
As night begins to fall, Conan finds a shallow cave and starts a fire. After a meal of horse meat, they bundle up for the night, eventually making love. When the Cimmerian awakes, Ilga is gone. He ventures outside and finds a strange groove-like track that leads to the horse’s carcass: its flesh has been completely stripped and only bones remain, each mysteriously frozen solid. Continuing onward, he also finds Ilga: she is in the same horrifying condition as his mount. Vowing to slay whatever killed the woman, the barbarian returns to the cave and gathers his gear, wrapping himself in his heavy, bearskin cloak.
Following the weird trail, Conan fights against the bitter cold until he finally comes across another, larger cave. He enters to discover it is the home of the legendary and vampiric Ice Worm, a tremendous, fur-covered snake. The Cimmerian throws back his cloak to reveal that he has filled his Aesgaardian helmet with smoldering embers from his fire. He tosses the red-hot helmet into the creature’s mouth — it literally explodes into a nauseating mixture of steam and living ice. The violent reaction causes an avalanche: tumbling downward, Conan barely survives.
At 25 pages, this is a totally lightweight tale: Conan screws a woman, she is killed by a monster and he takes his revenge. As simple as that. What makes it such an oddball is, of course, Carmine Infantino. Never thought I’d see him illustrate my favorite barbarian. The Awesome Alfredo basically pours an entire bottle of ink on each page, adding a ton of fine embellishments, impressive backgrounds and facial details. But we still have Carmine’s goofy flat-footed running around, oddly bent waists and fey arm and hand positioning. Alcala can only do so much. And the Ice Worm looks too cute to be creepy: think Falkor the Luckdragon from The NeverEnding Story. The face looks more catlike than reptilian so it’s a complete misfire. The story is based on the L. Sprague de Camp and Lin Carter short first published in the 1969 Lancer Books anthology, Conan of Cimmeria.
From a wintry mountain to the West Coast of Africa, we have a complete change of scenery for Solomon Kane’s “Moon Skulls: Part I.” Searching for someone he calls the Vampire Queen of Negari, the Puritan avenger is climbing a perilous mountain, barely surviving a suspicious rock slide before he reaches the plateau. At the top, he encounters a band of fierce-looking ebony warriors: even though Kane bears no gifts, the leader agrees to take him to meet the queen, whom he calls the Mistress of Doom, Nakari. But it is a ruse: when the party begins to cross a stone bridge, one of the Africans attacks — Kane manages to kill the warrior but they both fall to a rocky ledge below. The others think they are both dead and march off.
As night begins to fall, Conan finds a shallow cave and starts a fire. After a meal of horse meat, they bundle up for the night, eventually making love. When the Cimmerian awakes, Ilga is gone. He ventures outside and finds a strange groove-like track that leads to the horse’s carcass: its flesh has been completely stripped and only bones remain, each mysteriously frozen solid. Continuing onward, he also finds Ilga: she is in the same horrifying condition as his mount. Vowing to slay whatever killed the woman, the barbarian returns to the cave and gathers his gear, wrapping himself in his heavy, bearskin cloak.
At 25 pages, this is a totally lightweight tale: Conan screws a woman, she is killed by a monster and he takes his revenge. As simple as that. What makes it such an oddball is, of course, Carmine Infantino. Never thought I’d see him illustrate my favorite barbarian. The Awesome Alfredo basically pours an entire bottle of ink on each page, adding a ton of fine embellishments, impressive backgrounds and facial details. But we still have Carmine’s goofy flat-footed running around, oddly bent waists and fey arm and hand positioning. Alcala can only do so much. And the Ice Worm looks too cute to be creepy: think Falkor the Luckdragon from The NeverEnding Story. The face looks more catlike than reptilian so it’s a complete misfire. The story is based on the L. Sprague de Camp and Lin Carter short first published in the 1969 Lancer Books anthology, Conan of Cimmeria.
Solomon, cushioning the fall by landing on the African’s body, recovers and discovers a cavern. He enters the forbidding crevice, slaying a huge constrictor that strikes from the darkness. Moving on, he comes across a stone wall, man-made and crumbling. The somber adventurer throws his weight against the barrier and it collapses. Kane then finds himself in a dusty hallway: continuing on his way, he soon discovers a peephole. Peering through, he sees a grand royal chamber, the half-naked Nakari of Negari lounging seductively on the ornate throne. When the chief proclaims that they have just killed Kane, the queen erupts, screaming that he slew the “first great man who ever came to Negari” — she orders him to be executed by his own warriors.
Talk about an abrupt ending. Our usual team of Don Glut and David Wenzel — now joined by inker Bill Wray — deliver what we have come to expect: 12 pages of nothing special. They adapt the Howard tale of the same name, first published in the June 1930 issue of Weird Tales — Part II appeared a month later in the same magazine. There’s a one-page frontispiece that accompanies the story: a small caption at the bottom states that Kane is in Africa to rescue a girl named Marylin who was sold into slavery to a Barbary freebooter named El Gar years before. Now if you missed the caption — which I nearly did — you would have had no idea about this supposedly important bit of information while reading “Moon Skulls: Part I” because it’s never mentioned. And Kane even states that he's there looking for the Vampire Queen. But perhaps Marylin is what he sees in the final panel. Part II will not appear until issue 37. I think I can wait. But let me move on to King Kull as I’m sure Professor Gilbert will have kinder, more intelligent things to say …
So, not much of a plot but, again, that’s secondary. It’s been a while since I covered anything that Mike Ploog produced and it’s a real treat. Ploog himself seems impressed, signing his name to a few of the larger illustrations. He certainly deserves to pat himself on the back. His self-inked effort looks like it was enhanced by some type of charcoal, adding ominous shadows and smoky backgrounds. I love the impressive musculature of the characters: everyone is totally ripped. And the visions are remarkably well done. The dinosaurs are fabulously realistic as are the imposing figures of the future. There are times that Roy adds too much dialogue: not much is really needed and it tends to obscure the amazing images. Though I bet that Howard’s original — published in Weird Tales during 1929 — was a wordy affair since it’s basically a metaphysical rumination. A tremendous back-up feature, one of the most enjoyable to date.
There is only one text piece and it offers a heavy dose of the AWOL John Buscema. At three pages, “Conan of Des Moines or, Son of Conan the Syndicated” features a few paragraphs about the new syndicated strip by Roy and Big John as well as a healthy sampling of both daily and Sunday installments. Sure seem violent for the funny pages. -Tom Flynn
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